What If?

Immanuel Kant was actually Mohammed?
Lewis Carrol, Martin Luther, and Nero were connected by a secret society?
Marco Polo was responsible for the dot-com bomb?
Ptolemy lived at the same time as Leonardo da Vinci?
Rosa Parks lived in a world where the sinking of Atlantis had never happened?
The Dark Ages involved secret science?
The evolution of mankind happened after the fall of the Aztec Empire?
Lewis Carrol, Saint Francis, and Imhotep were connected by a magical artifact?
Thomas Malthus had access to nanotechnology?
Buddha had access to chemistry?
Galileo detested Pythagoras?
Imhotep was deliberately responsible for the telegraph?

Leonardo da Vinci was deliberately responsible for the telegraph?
Tomas Edison was like Mohammed?
Mohammed was indirectly responsible for nanotechnology?
John Adams was inspired by Pythagoras?
Stalin was more like Leonardo da Vinci?
Tutankhamun was deliberately responsible for the rise of the Aztec Empire?
Alfred Nobel was connected to Saint Paul by a secret society?
The construction of the Panama Canal involved a magical artifact?
Saint Peter was indirectly responsible for the dot-com bomb?
Plato was directly responsible for chemistry?
Immanuel Kant was connected to Alexander the Great by secret science?
The Sino-French War had never happened?

Pontious Pilate lived in a world where the fall of Mankind from the Garden of Eden had never happened?
Christ had access to the telegraph?
The Cuban Missile Crisis involved secret science?
Imhotep lived at the same time as Leonardo Da Vinci?
The travel of Buddhism to Japan happened after the fall of the Aztec Empire?
Caeser lived at the same time as Mohammed?
Billy the Kid was connected to Kepler by a secret society?
William Penn was indirectly responsible for the dot-com bomb?
The fall of Satan involved chemistry?
Saint Luke was responsible for nanotechnology?
Napoleon was like Pythagoras?
The fall of the Aztec Empire involved a magical artifact?

The rise of the Inca Empire involved a magical artifact?
The rise of the Inca Empire had never happened?
The advent of Christianity happened after the rise of the Aztec Empire?
Alexander Bell was connected to Roger Bacon by secret science?
Aristotle lived at the same time as Leonardo Da Vinci?
The fall of Mankind from the Garden of Eden involved the telegraph?
Pythagoras was responsible for chemistry?
George Washington, Kublai Khan, and Tutankhamun were connected by a secret society?
Montezuma was responsible for the dot-com bomb?
Roger Bacon was brought down by Pythagoras?
Fionn mac Cumhaill switched places with Mohammed?
Carl Jung was responsible for nanotechnology?

The sinking of Atlantis involved nanotechnology?
Marquis De Sade was connected to Cleopatra by a magical artifact?
Thomas Agrippa was connected to Plato by secret science?
Heraclitus was indirectly responsible for chemistry?
Heraclitus lived at the same time as Mohammed?
The sinking of Atlantis involved a secret society?
The rise of Rome happened after the rise of the Aztec Empire?
John Adams was more like Leonardo da Vinci?
Saint Peter was indirectly responsible for the dot-com bomb?
Saint Thomas had access to the telegraph?
Teddy Roosevelt lived in a world where the 'British Invasion' of music had never happened?
Saint Francis was the reincarnation of Pythagoras?

Montezuma was the descendent of Pythagoras?
The destruction of the Hindenburg involved nanotechnology?
The sexual revolution involved secret science?
The rise of the Maya Empire involved chemistry?
Linnaeus was obsessed with Leonardo da Vinci?
Princess Diana, Voltaire, and Leif Ericson were connected by a secret society?
The rise of the Maya Empire happened after the fall of the Aztec Empire?
Hiawatha switched places with Mohammed?
The rise of Rome involved the telegraph?
The fall of Mankind from the Garden of Eden involved a magical artifact?
The 100 year war had never happened?
Billy the Kid was deliberately responsible for the dot-com bomb?

The American Revolution happened after the dot-com bomb?
William Blake fought Pythagoras?
The warring states period in China happened after the fall of the Aztec Empire?
The Indo-Pakistan war involved a magical artifact?
The most advanced technology of today was the telegraph?
Marie Curie was more like Mohammed?
The Spanish-American war involved a secret society?
The rise of Buddhism involved chemistry?
Harun al-Rashid lived in a world where the sinking of Atlantis had never happened?
The Salem Witch Hunt involved secret science?
Chiang Kai Shek had access to nanotechnology?
Lenin was inspired by Leonardo da Vinci?

Voltaire was obsessed with Leonardo da Vinci?
The Opium War happened after the dot-com bomb?
Today's most commonplace technology was nanotechnology?
The advent of color television involved secret science?
The Cold War had never happened?
The sinking of Atlantis involved chemistry?
Pythagoras lived at the same time as Mohammed?
The crucifixion of Jesus happened after the rise of the Aztec Empire?
Pythagoras was indirectly responsible for the telegraph?
Albert Einstein was the reincarnation of Pythagoras?
Napoleon was connected to Columbus by a magical artifact?
The building of the Maginot Line involved a secret society?

The Opium War involved a secret society?
Plato switched places with Leonardo da Vinci?
Gandhi lived in a world where the advent of Christianity had never happened?
Ptolemy switched places with Mohammed?
Mohammed was directly responsible for the dot-com bomb?
John Lennon, Newton, and Mohammed were connected by a magical artifact?
Pontious Pilate was directly responsible for the fall of the Aztec Empire?
The most advanced technology of today was chemistry?
Kublai Khan was deliberately responsible for nanotechnology?
Kublai Khan was like Pythagoras?
The sinking of Atlantis involved the telegraph?
The evolution of mankind involved secret science?

The invention of the birth control pill involved secret science?
The rise of NATO involved a secret society?
The Boer War involved nanotechnology?
The Global influenza epidemic happened after the dot-com bomb?
The 100 year war involved a magical artifact?
Christ switched places with Mohammed?
The rise of Buddhism happened after the rise of the Aztec Empire?
Joan of Arc lived in a world where the fall of the Aztec Empire had never happened?
Harun al-Rashid was indirectly responsible for chemistry?
Voltaire was obsessed with Leonardo da Vinci?
King Arthur was obsessed with Pythagoras?
Saint Jerome was responsible for the telegraph?

Caesar had access to the telegraph?
The spread of Buddhism involved secret science?
The fall of Satan involved a magical artifact?
Aristotle switched places with Leonardo da Vinci?
The Global influenza epidemic happened after the dot-com bomb?
The American revolution had never happened?
Princess Diana was deliberately responsible for nanotechnology?
Moses was directly responsible for chemistry?
The McCarthy trials involved a secret society?
Elvis was like Mohammed?
Stalin detested Pythagoras?
Socrates was indirectly responsible for the fall of the Aztec Empire?

The extinction of the dinosaurs happened after the fall of the Aztec Empire?
The most advanced technology of today was the telegraph?
The Information Age involved secret science?
The Klondike Gold Rush happened after the dot-com bomb?
Beethoven was deliberately responsible for nanotechnology?
Martin Luther was actually Pythagoras?
The creation of Rock and Roll had never happened?
The fall of the USSR involved a magical artifact?
Nietzsche was the descendent of Leonardo da Vinci?
Martin Luther was connected to Imhotep by a secret society?
Confucius had access to chemistry?
Confucius lived at the same time as Mohammed?

The telegraph had been invented a thousand years earlier Saint Paul had access to chemistry?
Gershwin, Bach, and Roger Bacon were connected by a magical artifact? The Cuban Missile Crisis involved nanotechnology?
The Renaissance involved secret science: Leonardo da Vinci was deliberately responsible for genetic engineering?
The dot-com bomb involved a terrible secret: Eleanor Roosevelt, King George III, and Genghis Khan were connected by secret science?
The rise of NATO involved a secret society: Karl Marx, Mohammed, and Cleopatra were connected by a secret bloodline?
Jack the Ripper fought Pythagoras the Nuremberg Trials had never happened?

Mikä voima oli voittamaton. Mikä elämää ylläpitäviä voimia vastaan
Millä oli kyky liikuttaa raajojansa, kuin ilma olisi häneen puhallettu

Nykyaika ei tunnu

Tämäkin tuntuu

Menin tunneliin ja ovet jyrähtelivät

Takanani vihdoinkin näin, ja näin ruusut

Mahdotonta muistaa

Olin vain takin taskusta pudonnut rakkaus

Ei kasva 

Ja he olivat turhautuneet. nousseet pintaan ampumaan kranaatin

Sen ainoan 

Voisin mennä katsomaan — "mutta itse asiassa minä en ennusta tulevaisuutta vaan mitä tapahtuu aina"

Itse katselitte hämärää kohti

Minä tiesin ei hämärään tottua voi

Maustemyyjän tuoksuvasta taskusta 

Kirjan sivut tuoksuivat vahvasti niille pirskotellulta bensiiniltä — "I really like this international stuff you know"

Hän tökkää syömäpuikot hiuspehkoonsa
Kun hän kiukustui ne napsahtivat irti 

Hiukset valahtivat

Hän saa tarpeekseen

Näin hänen huutavan parkkimittarille joka oli hiekkasäkkien takana

     Put The Business End of The Acme Power-Drill
towards The surface to be worked on
     Apply a measure of Eikon surgical tape — eiTher cloth
or plastic — to keep The dressing on The fresh tattoo
     I like to use cheap ball point pens that I find in hotel
lobbies and swimming pool trash bins and maybe also in
commercial exhibitions if I can get free entrance, not that
I don't like those free pencils from Ikea too
     And I find sticks and esThetics likely to inspire me
more and more

Rahaksi ikuisiin kuluihin
Menoksi ikuisiin pitoihin
Tuloksi aikaisiin tapoihin

Menoksi aikaisiin tapoihin
Tuloksi ikuisiin kuluihin
Rahaksi ikuisiin pitoihin

Tuloksi ikuisiin pitoihin
Rahaksi aikaisiin tapoihin
Menoksi ikuisiin kuluihin

Is punctum objet petit a?

Sickle cell soldiers do I don't Lose controll lose weight
Daisies doing pushups Die and relive carry my semi-
Automatic conveys a very special meaning We are to
The biotech what The body of Pina Bausch for The
Contradiction that I am Surrendering

We have your mothers heart or your cock
cajoles all night — I suppose — And I need sleep
Give us a call and
We might give her away and then...
My thoughts cannot account for themselves in
This thought desert

You blame yourself for your mother's self destructive
criticism He lits himself alight with sunlight and washes
his hands with it and after photographing everything The
height of his tome gathering dust and crisp sunlight
It will be soon... And we laughed our heads off blowing
His hollow Everyone of their child was bequeathed
assertative western sins Just a bottle of need tasting
like pocket lint

A dust bin of bad Symbolism and a rampage
of Unconscious my soul
Classics counterfeited by them I
Heard her telling her life-story
just How I became a suggestive-aggressive
You prefer these instead of margaritas
Its a condition of your kind

Of something I don't know nothing of How it work'd
Yet I keep believing it so They pulled the sea from the
Body but couldn't pull the body out of sea — as some
things move me this does it too — for one thing He
was forced to quit when holes on the golf course started
reeking bad fumes

Gently like a hot bowl of soup — and I'm not telling this
for a joke — you need to be coming back with your
traumas Cured or not Your grass needs to be very dry for
Not to emit smoke If not a thousand cracked piñatas
what will it be

Slavoj Žižek: What's Wrong with Fundamentalism?

The logic is here the same as that of Anne Frank who, in her diaries, expresses belief in the ultimate goodness of man in spite of the horrors accomplished by men against Jews in World War II: what renders such an assertion of belief (in the essential goodness of Man; in the truly human character of the Soviet regime) sublime, is the very gap between it and the overwhelming factual evidence against it, i.e. the active will to disavow the actual state of things. Perhaps therein resides the most elementary meta-physical gesture: in this refusal to accept the real in its idiocy, to disavow it and to search for Another World behind it. The big Other is thus the order of lie, of lying sincerely. And it is in this sense that "the best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity": even the best are no longer able to sustain their symbolic innocence, their full engagement in the symbolic ritual, while "the worst," the mob, engage in (racist, religious, sexist...) fanaticism? Is this opposition not a good description of today's split between tolerant but anemic liberals, and the fundamentalists full of "passionate intensity"?¹

The Žižek quote above reminds me of an article I once read about reasons why liberalist and conservative thoughts have such a gap (or maybe "split" in lacanese). The article was written by a professor of social sciences in US. The name of the professor now escapes me and I cannot find the link to the article. But, the basic logic or attraction of conservative ideology as I remember it (read: religious/political fundamentalism of any kind, which we have a fare share in Finland too, we do not need to go into american evangelicals) is that it gives very clear answers to basic human questions. I think in lacanese this means: how should we manage our enjoyment? While conservative thinking is very precise in this the liberal opposition does have very weak answers. Regarding this an example: finnish television recently aired a debate which precisely illustrates this. The debate between pro-daycare activist Jarkko Tontti, and children-should-be-taken-care-by-their-mother partisan Nina Mikkonen turned to be a farce between aggressive conservative Mikkonen "speaking from her heart" and cool Tontti, who backed his side with supporting scientific studies. Precisely this brings us to a point, or two points actually. First is that precise answers backed with strong emotion, (never mind how dubious the ideological background; i.e. who is speaking when we talk about the "best of the children"?) make a strong case against the liberal we-can-change-our-mind-if-scientific-studies-point-to-other-direction position. The second point can be found in the next quote of Žižek.

At some point, Alcoholics Anonymous meet Pascal: "Fake it until you make it.." However, this causality of the habit is more complex than it may appear: far from offering an explanation of how beliefs emerge, it itself calls for an explanation. The first thing to specify is that Pascal's "Kneel down and you will believe!" has to be understood as involving a kind of self-referential causality: "Kneel down and you will believe that you knelt down because you believed!" The second thing is that, in the "normal" cynical functioning of ideology, belief is displaced onto another, onto a "subject supposed to believe," so that the true logic is: "Kneel down and you will thereby MAKE SOMEONE ELSE BELIEVE!" One has to take this literally and even risk a kind of inversion of Pascal's formula: "You believe too much, too directly? You find your belief too oppressing in its raw immediacy? Then kneel down, act as if you believe, and YOU WILL GET RID OF YOUR BELIEF - you will no longer have to believe yourself, your belief will already ex-sist objectified in your act of praying!" That is to say, what if one kneels down and prays not so much to regain one's own belief but, on the opposite, to GET RID of one's belief, of its over-proximity, to acquire a breathing space of a minimal distance towards it? To believe - to believe "directly," without the externalizing mediation of a ritual - is a heavy, oppressing, traumatic burden, which, through exerting a ritual, one has a chance of transferring it onto an Other...¹

So the more you make clear that you believe in your cause (kneel down, act as you believe...), the more you make others believe on behalf of you. This is visible in muslim religion (if you behave like a believer, pray on the designated hours and take part in other rituals you are a true believer) and in christian cults too. There is no third way.

"...The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere / the ceremony of innocence is drowned; / the best lack all conviction, while the worst / are full of passionate intensity." W.B Yeats²

¹ WITH OR WITHOUT PASSION What's Wrong with Fundamentalism?
² Quoted in the beginning of the same article by Žižek.